something filled up my heart with nothing

most of you probably know that it's been a pretty stressful time for me over the recent weeks. both of the team managers in my department have been out sick, and i've felt like i was carrying the department on my own. the nature of my job has been to try and learn everything on the fly, and it's rare that i feel like i'm on top of things or really know what i'm doing.

today, i created a situation that resulted in my being pulled into the office of the Senior Manager of Operations and dressed down. the repercussions of what happened will probably affect the entire project. the Senior Manager will have to answer to his superiors both internally and on the client side. the result for me is that i was summarily removed from the department i was supervising, and will be demoted to phone work as of Monday.

i want to say thank you to everyone who has provided a listening ear when i've needed to talk. i apologize if i've asked for too much, or leaned too heavily, or complained too annoyingly. you all have helped me, you all sustain me. and i still refuse to be broken.

i had considered going to see The Umbrellas of Cherbourg this evening, but just was not in the headspace to enjoy it. went to see Polanski's The Fearless Vampire Hunters, or Pardon Me, But Your Teeth Are In My Neck at Dal after kat mentioned it to me (many thanks!). it was odd, heavy-handed, slapstick, bizarre, absurd and very enjoyable. i think it had something to suit every taste. a suitable antidote to a tough, tough day.

stay tuned. if overwrought hand-wringing is to your taste, you'll find my life a treat. ;)